Another dilemma…

We had two of the “unexpected” visitors today. At least for me. And it was kind of refreshing to know that there are still those on the “other side” who still feel (somehow, at least) that I have been a good part of what was. That they did not judge merely because of what they were told. Well, maybe they did. But it didn’t show today.

One of the talks led to one of them asking me and the hubby if we were to consider a work abroad (for the hubby.. and then maybe later, for me). It was deja vu. We had this about 3-4 years ago. But it didn’t work for some reason. (Now I know that it was because Migsy was to arrive). This time, we are at our lowest and we need to take whatever there is to survive. Especially now that we have our little baby Three. But the same reason may as well be what would hinder us from saying yes.

The hubby and I have the same vision when it comes to our kids. It was always family first. What the kids need, we give. What’s better for us, we take. And now we face a new dilemma. If hubby were to accept this job, he would have a contract of at least 2 years. That would mean that when he comes home, Juju is 10, Migs is 5 and Three is 2. He would have lost precious time with the kids because he was working far from them. But if he didn’t take the opportunity, what do we have? A job which pays a minimal amount for him and an unstable industry for me. So what do we do? Really? I ask this because I don’t have the answer. Not now, and most probably not tomorrow. We need to make the decision until Wednesday morning.

I have another issue I’d hate to bring up. What happens to us? To me and the hubby? Would our relationship falter and would the distance bring us apart? This was a test that we never had the courage to take. We both were too scared of the answer, of the outcome. What if we’re not as strong as we seem to be? The what ifs.

I have no words tonight. Just mere shock. Maybe I would have to wait for tomorrow. It is, by all means, another day.


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