Saturday is for moms…

Our usual Saturday came. We went to my aunt’s place to visit my Lola, where she temporarily stays while my mom and aunts are in the U.S. I can sense that she has been down the past couple of days because of the lack of communication from her children. It’s been almost a week. Yes, only a week. But she’s close to them like that. So being the next adult in the family (count my uncle out.. he has an “interesting” way of living), I had to go and see her. I was also anxious as to what has been going on in the U.S. since my mom’s there too. If I knew that she was only there for a vacation and to enjoy, I would NOT have worried. But I know why she’s there. And I’m still emotional knowing I couldn’t help.

When we got to my aunt’s place, they had a Budget Card ready for calling their mom and dad. I dialed for them. I got the message of when they will arrive (minus mom of course). I also told them that hubby and I will be the ones to fetch them, with or without my other uncle.

Oh, and yes, I got to talk to my mom too! She was still worrying about her bills. Not emotional, like I thought. I was the one who is. She was detailing how and when the bills should be paid while I, on the other line, am just so happy I finally get to talk to her. Then I suddenly got sad that she will be left alone the U.S. with just some acquaintances. That she will look for a job come Monday, and was told that the agency will take her first 2 weeks of pay. Another anxiety attack. Gah!

I think my Lola was quite satisfied after she got to talk with her kids. After we had lunch, my tummy started acting up. I was having tummy cramps. Every 5 minutes! So I thought.. “Please don’t let this be premature labor!” I mean, we don’t have the money yet. The hubby’s mom (whom we are counting on to give us money.. for now!.. only for now!!!)  is still somewhere in her home town and would be likely NOT to give us anything. I was talking to Jess the whole time so He’d help me. I told my hubby and my Lola about it. They were both worried but I know the hubby was more worried that we don’t have the resources yet. We don’t even have baby clothes!

Then my Lola offered her last $100 so the hubby can take me to the hospital. I was so touched! She has always been open to lend or give me anything I need. No questions asked. She just lays it there like its the most normal thing she does. And I am very proud that I am part of her family. My mom and my aunts (even my uncle) have all inherited the same good nature. I hope I somehow got that too. I can’t help but compare it to how my hubby’s mother treats him. I still get angry over the stories he tells me.

Last week, he was asking her for money so we could pay the bills. She gave him less than half of what we needed and told him that she has no money, she needs the rest of it for her business and that she will go to the province this weekend for a party. What ticked me off is the story that she is to buy a new car and learn how to drive. Tell me if I’m off. But didn’t the hubby just asked her for a measly amount??? Plus he has been asking her to give him a small amount that he can use for capital for a small business, so that he doesn’t have to leave the country.. to leave us! Oh well… this is a reality that I know but would need to accept more… NOT ALL MOTHERS ARE THE SAME. Some care more than others.

I’ve also been worried that my 2nd child has been saying the same thing over and over whenever we pass by a cemetery… “Dalhin kita mommy diyan”. I don’t know if it really means anything, but it has been the 3rd time now. I don’t think somebody taught him to say that!.. well, I hope not!

A splash of cold water…

Last night, the hubby called me and told me that he’s chatting with his uncle. And that he said, hubby is about to leave in about 8 weeks or less. Wait, what?! 8 weeks?! That doesn’t give us enough time! There’s never an ENOUGH time! And every time I think about it, I really feel sad and get teary eyed. If at all, I wouldn’t want any one of us (even my mom!) leaving the country. If we do, it’ll be all of us. I feel a panic attack. I think of ways on how I can go back to work or at least put up a small biz so I can convince the hubby not to go. I feel bad that his mom does not realize the value of being together. That she would rather spend her money on worthless things rather than give it to his son to start a small something so he doesn’t have to leave. I know my mom would NEVER let me leave for a measly amount and with the knowledge that I would be devastated to leave my family. Surely, all mothers are different.

This reality is something that I would wish was a dream. A very bad dream.

Ponderings…

It’s past 12 already and I’m still up. I can’t help it. I’m not feeling well. I’ve been feeling sick since Saturday and lazy for the rest of my pregnancy (I’m almost 8 months now). So what have I been doing? A couple of things, actually. I’m reading an ebook by Seth Godin entitled Who’s There. Its about the basics of blogging (or something). I’m halfway done but I felt that since it wasn’t getting my full attention, I’d rather stop. I would’ve wanted to watch local TV and see what’s up on the teleseryes I’ve been stuck up on for the past few months. But again, I got too lazy. So here I am, playing Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook and trying to blog. I wanted to make this blog a sort of like a journal of all my thoughts and whatnots, but as it seems, that’s not happening.  Now, I won’t make those tiny promises, not even to myself.

I was also thinking of going back to working since I know the hubby is .. well, kind of having a really hard time looking for money to make ends meet. And I can’t buy the things I crave for, like fruits and Coke Zero. Or even ask the hubby to bring me to the mall just so I can sit and look at people and things. I can’t even get myself a decent pedicure! Gah!

My mom called me earlier at around 7:30pm. She said they (her and my aunts and uncle, who are all in NJ for a vacation) just woke up and was calling to ask how we were and what we want for pasalubong. I said the usual stuff. I almost just repeated what I wrote her on a Facebook message.   I didn’t bother to give her details on what I’ve gone through with my endocrinologist this past week (the doctor asked me to get insulin shots again.. twice a day, plus 3-5 times of having my blood sugar level checked). I know it’ll be one of her worries. She knows my financial status right now. I wouldn’t want that to happen since she’s in NJ to enjoy. Besides, this is my own battle. The perks of having a diabetic father with a diabetic family. Sigh.

The hubby has been productive lately. He has done some home improvements, starting with putting a screen on all the windows, getting our “old” stuff from her mom’s place (no, we’re still not in speaking terms but she MAY be feeling a little soft on the hubby and the kids… or so I think), “renovating” our garage so we can park (mom’s) car inside and not worry about drunken neighbors throwing empty bottles of beer around when they feel like it, and putting a technicolored brick “road” in the garden and laundry area. Feels like Oz 🙂 LOL. Thanks hubby!

Our new “yaya” is also doing some garden makeover. I told her I want flowers all over. And that’s what she does even before she takes a bath in the morning. Unfortunately, she will be leaving soon (she’ll be here only for a month) because of some traumatic experience she’s had with a previous employer. She needs time to rest and heal herself. I wouldn’t want a(nother) lunatic in the house, do I?

That’s about it for now. I may have more blah blah stories soon. But we’ll see how I’m feeling in a few days. If I can actually blog about it. LOL. Tata!