Holiday blues

Holidays are supposed to be all jolly, like in my childhood. It’s different now. Different this year.

A few days ago, we received the news that the hubby’s working visa (and permit) is ready and just waiting for his requirements. While it’s good news work-wise, I still felt that it was one of the worst I ever got. I mean, it is Christmas! The season for family and togetherness! Why bring us this news now? Can’t it wait ’til after New Year? The fact that this only gives us a few weeks/days, is not something I’m joyed about. The past few months have brought us both closer to each other and the kids. We have had our share of downs, but definitely our ups outweighed those. I have grown to be so dependent on the hubby for just about anything. I am spoiled, yes. And I plan to be like this for a couple more years. NOT days.

Just thinking about it makes me really sad. I know the hubby is, too. Even though he tells me that we need this opportunity, I know deep within him, he wishes that it was in a different circumstance. A nearer circumstance.

This is one of the things I resent, given the situation. I mean, he could very well have his own small business. If only some people does not prioritize pride over family. Can’t blame them though. Don’t want to. I’m done with all the hate and should only fill myself and my family with love, love, love.

I wish I had more time.

Advertisements

Japan Home haul

The hubby went out earlier today to go the PNG embassy for his working visa requirements. He went back at around noon and my Dad visited us (for the first time). We all had (late) lunch together and since the hubby was planning to go to Rob Place Nova, my Dad went with us up until the mall premises, where he will get a ride home (or wherever).

The hubby went straight to the cellphone repair man we got acquainted with the other.. for repairs of the Nokia N95. After doing his business there, Lil’ Migsy went about doing his.. arcade. Then it was time for baby T’s clothes shopping (more long-sleeved shirts for her since it’s getting cold by the day).

We then went straight to Japan Home for some good ole’ window shopping. And I needed some house slippers too! Look at my loot!

plus another queen size mattress protector and my pink slippers(both not in picture)
i want more of this!!!
for our “older” bed
i originally wanted the tiramisu mochi.. but lil Migsy won.. sigh
LOVE the smell!!! *taken from the internet

I love the fact that they’re all 88php each! I swear, I’ll be back soon.

New money, eh?

As I was browsing through Facebook and reading through my fave blogs, I saw a post about the new money for the Phils. There were similarities but it really looked different! Here, see for yourself :

Looks like some of them had a makeover or something LOL. But seriously, I think this is better. Change and progress IS better.

For those of you who already have their hands on one of these, care to send me some? *wink*

UPDATE : I already have the 20, 50 and 1000 bills 🙂 Looks like play money! LOL

2/16/2011 : I have the 100 and saw the 200. 🙂

Emotional breakdown

No, I don’t have them now but I can say I’ve had them quite a few times before. And it wasn’t pretty.

It’s almost Christmas. 1 week to go. This time of the year last year, we were in a different place. It was all roses then. A few months later, the horrid thing happened. I used to blame somebody. I think I still do. But now, I’m more on the regret side. I wish it didn’t happen. Though I could not be certain I won’t do the same thing I did. I don’t think I’ll ever allow ANYBODY to step and look down on me.. or my family. It’s just the way it is.

I’m sad. 😦

Work and whatnots

Started to work this Monday, and so far, so good. I mean, except for the fact that it takes time away from dear babies and hubby, it would pay some bills and debts. I really shouldn’t complain. After all, I asked for this. And He gave it to me. (Thank you, Lord!)

But yes, I certainly lack in the sleep department. A few hours here and there. In the morning, when I’m supposed to be dreaming, I take care of baby T and do some chores. I also can’t sleep even if I tried to. I’m used to being awake in the mornings.

I’m alone again today since the hubby, Migs and baby T are out. They’re at the MIL’s house (where I’m banned from – read previous posts). Again, I should not complain since we have been getting our moneys and supplies from her for the past months. She bought my eldest a new queen sized bed worth 46thousand! I would’ve been angry if it was the hubby’s idea and OUR money, but since it isn’t, I’ll just shush and show gratitude in one way or another.

pic of lil' Migsy enjoying the new bed

As for me, I’ll continue working on projects until I pay debts and have enough to last us til’ the hubby leaves and sends his paycheck. As for the hubby leaving, that’s another post.

 

It’s one of those days

Do you sometimes feel unloved and alone? Well, yes for me and I feel that now. I don’t know if its just me or is it one of the norm nowadays. When we moved here at our new house, I thought we brought with us the attitude of not wanting to go out of the house unless its for a date or for family time. That ended here. I don’t know why,but the hubby has been going out often. When he wakes up, after meals, during off times. He has been friends with the neighbors (the men of the house) and have been chatting with them almost all day everyday. This is something new for me so I AM NOT used to it. I hate it actually. I think I have a post about it previously.

Don’t get me wrong. I am very liberal and very lenient with the hubby. I just don’t like that he’s spending MORE time with the neighbors than with us his family. Add to that, when he’s not WITH the neighbors, he goes to his mom’s house, which is 2 villages away from us. Of course, I’m left at home.

If I didn’t know better, I would’ve said he didn’t want to be with me. Now that I think about it, I’m getting paranoid that that might be the case.

I wish I had more things to do and care about so I wouldn’t be feeling this way. Even if my hunch is confirmed, if I’m enjoying myself elsewhere, I wouldn’t really care. But right now, I cry about it. And it feels awful. 😦