Best day this week

Today’s one of the best days I’ve had this week. No, I’m not complaining about the rest, since most went pretty well. I just feel ecstatic today since I saw the hubby on Skype! Yay!

Lookie :

 

 

I miss him sooo much. I wish we could be together soon. It’s only been a week, but it feels like it’s been years. I’m so used to having him beside me, near me. And now.. we’re miles apart. 😥

I love you, baby.

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Baby poochie!

I’ve been frequenting baby sling/pouch sites lately. I’ve always wanted to have one since I saw them when I was still pregnant with the 2nd child. I got myself 2 baby carriers then, since only a few use baby slings/pouches. But now, it seems that I should have this on my next payday budget list.

Take a look :

Baby Pouch

Here are some benefits of baby wearing :

– When you have a baby carrier, your hands are baby-free, so you can do other things like cook, clean, read, play with your other children or work.

– Soothes the baby. Babies love it when you carry them around and their bodies stay as close to yours.

– Babies need to be close to their mothers. It is for their emotional and psychological growth and well-being. It gives them the feeling of safety.

– Babywearing creates rhythm and harmony between you and your baby.

– Babies who are held more, cry less.

 

So yes, I’m quite sold on getting one soon!

 

I hate coffee

No, I don’t actually. I love rich, flavorful coffee as a matter of fact. But since the hubby left, I don’t have my coffee partner anymore. And I remember him everytime I see those granules or the coffee maker (he loves freshly brewed coffee!). I just cry. Now, drinking coffee while crying is NOT fun. So I stop. For now.

 

I miss you, baby.

So broken

It’s the 3rd night that I am without my half. An incomplete soul, that’s what I am now. He left for Papua New Guinea to work. It’s our sacrifice for the kids’ future.

I know I should not be selfish and think about only my feelings. But I also see my children. Their longing and their sadness. It kills me.

Just today, the little girl was hugging her dad’s last worn shirt and was talking (babytalk) to it too. She misses her “sweetheart”. Dear daddy calls her that. Another was when Kuya Migsy woke up earlier today, he was screaming for daddy. Even when the hubby was still around, he cries and screams when he wakes up to an empty bed, what more now? The eldest also cried when the hubby called and told him to take care of me. He also wrote me a letter/note and posted it in our bedroom mirror, telling me not to cry. I have the most adorable kids. And it hurts that we have lost (temporarily but still) our man-of-the-house, our protector, our friend, our “Daddy”.

I am hurting as I write this. I feel that I’ve dried out all the tears but it still magically and automatically appears when I remember the owner of my heart. (Sorry for the mush, readers. I just feel lonely now) I don’t know how to survive this, but believe me when I say I am trying my very best not to lose it. I am fighting the fight. Because I have to. And because the hubby’s sacrifice is most precious.

 

Please pray for my family.

 

Dear Hubby,

I miss you. I miss us.

I love you so much.

Me

It’s a cold night

I have a newfound respect for OFWs and OFW families. I can’t seem to think of the right words of how I’m feeling right now. If I could only take back the contracts signed and pay for the plane tickets, I think I would’ve done just that. But I can’t. And for the hubby, I won’t. I am just soooo sad that this had to happen. I have so many “I should’ve’s” right now. But God works in mysterious ways. He may have plans that as difficult as it seems for us now, will have better results for the future.

The hubby’s still here. His flight’s tomorrow. But it’s already killing me. I miss him.

How can I do the things I used to do when they’re always with him?

How can I continue to raise our kids, when I know that half my heart and soul is out there, far?

How do I celebrate coming occassions when I’m feeling too melancholic and miss the only person who has ever understood everything that I am and has accepted it?

I’m a lost soul. I’m losing a big part of me, and I don’t know how to deal with it.

I know it’s only for a year. But a year becomes 2 years, and 2 years becomes 3… and more. Yesterday, it was our 9th wedding anniversary and we spent it together. God is sooo good that He granted me that wish. But how can I truly be happy when I think about all those years that we will miss each other when we celebrate our anniversaries? I really don’t know. My head is spinning and I can literally feel a heart attack.

Please Lord. Help me survive this. Help me see things through Your eyes. And please keep my husband safe.. ALWAYS. That’s all I ask and I strive my best to look at things in a positive light. To see things clearly, to love thee more dearly.

Here sickie, sickie!

I am sick AGAIN! It’s been days now that I’ve been feeling not too well. I have these back aches and numbing of my right arm. I have a few thoughts as to what it is, but I have yet to consult a pro.. a doctor. To which, by the way, I have no time nor budget (for now). I really have to get us one of those health cards.

I now have the colds too. And asthma. Ack!

But the hubby loves me sooo much, he bought me medicines on his way home from the agency. Thanks, babe!

Well, I hope to be well soon. Hubby’s about to leave, and I’ll be left with the kids. Ack2!

When it rains, it pours

Today started not great. I woke up late because I was feeling bad due to a cold and not-so-sure-what-else. Then I saw the eldest still asleep.. at 7:30AM! Gaaad! I’m not sure what the yaya’s doing since I’ve instructed her numerous times to wake (one of) us up and not stop knocking on our door until somebody answers. But no! I think what I say fall on deaf ears. Sigh.

Then when I went out to our comfort room in the living area, I saw that there was  NO FAUCET. Gaaad! Yaya, the things you do! Magical! Sheesh. Then I asked her. She said she accidentally sat on it while cleaning the bathroom. OMG, ’nuff said.

Another issue was SOMEBODY unplugged the refrigerator! Gaaad! Asked yaya, she said she didn’t touch it. Not sure what to believe since everybody else was asleep before the hubby saw this. OMG again.

Then, the hubby got an email from PNG (the place where he’ll be starting Sunday :< ), telling him that he needs to bring his papers from POEA (which JAO International Manpower Agency is processing) to Air Niugini in Makati. Problem is, no papers yet and no update from the agency. He was trying to call the agency but all contact numbers are either busy or can’t be reached. So-ho. After a few hours, he was able to contact them. But, he had to leave and go to their office, which means I’ll be left at home with a plumber working on the faucet (and some other stuff), a yaya who seems to be abdsent-minded lately not-sure-why, and 2 kulit kids. And yes, did I say I was feeling bad? Ack!

I’m really hoping I can rest even for an hour this afternoon. But looks like the stars are not with me today. Sigh.