It’s a cold night

I have a newfound respect for OFWs and OFW families. I can’t seem to think of the right words of how I’m feeling right now. If I could only take back the contracts signed and pay for the plane tickets, I think I would’ve done just that. But I can’t. And for the hubby, I won’t. I am just soooo sad that this had to happen. I have so many “I should’ve’s” right now. But God works in mysterious ways. He may have plans that as difficult as it seems for us now, will have better results for the future.

The hubby’s still here. His flight’s tomorrow. But it’s already killing me. I miss him.

How can I do the things I used to do when they’re always with him?

How can I continue to raise our kids, when I know that half my heart and soul is out there, far?

How do I celebrate coming occassions when I’m feeling too melancholic and miss the only person who has ever understood everything that I am and has accepted it?

I’m a lost soul. I’m losing a big part of me, and I don’t know how to deal with it.

I know it’s only for a year. But a year becomes 2 years, and 2 years becomes 3… and more. Yesterday, it was our 9th wedding anniversary and we spent it together. God is sooo good that He granted me that wish. But how can I truly be happy when I think about all those years that we will miss each other when we celebrate our anniversaries? I really don’t know. My head is spinning and I can literally feel a heart attack.

Please Lord. Help me survive this. Help me see things through Your eyes. And please keep my husband safe.. ALWAYS. That’s all I ask and I strive my best to look at things in a positive light. To see things clearly, to love thee more dearly.


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