work and depression

Being a virtual assistant, there certainly are downsides to it.  One and very important would be INSTABILITY. As virtualists, we don’t have employment contracts to sign nor are we protected by our country’s government. You can say, we’re kind of an underground thing. But this is what pays the bills and buys milk and education for my kids… so I stick to it.

Just last week, 3 of my colleagues resigned. Different reasons of course, but I should say, it was a result of the immense pressure we’re now getting from our boss. Its either we deliver or we’re out. Thats his principle. If he doesn’t like what we do and how we do it.. we get kicked out. He’s the client, we’re business owners. And our business? Render services.

Now I can feel the pressure. I feel that anytime soon I’ll get the boot. And thats what worries me. Considering that most of our expenses comes from my pay as a virtual assistant. And even if I consider working for a company outside my home, I don’t think I’d get the same amount.

NOW I’M DEPRESSED….

sorry v.2

This is a letter for my husband…

Dear Hubby,

I’m sorry. I know what I did was just plain stupid. I know we talked about these things and that I promised it won’t happen again. I wasn’t thinking. But I swear, you had absolutely nothing to worry about. I was just curious..and stupid.

I also want to tell you how sad it made me feel during the time that you were “tampo” with me. Believe me, I feel your feelings too. And my being physically sick now is just one of the mirrors of how I really felt earlier today. Plus the fact that I remembered that we were 1 month away from our 7th year anniversary. And finally, that 7-year “curse” will finally be over and that we survived it.

Please don’t be mad anymore.

I love you so much.

the 29th..

It’s my parents’ 29th wedding anniversary today. Nothing unusual. In fact, its one of those ordinary days. They do not celebrate this event anymore. Nothing to celebrate about. They separated a couple of years ago. And I know that they’re living their own lives according to what they think is best for them.

This day still haunts me though. Every time I know its coming, it still gives me the creeps. No, I’m not hoping for a reconciliation. God knows I wouldn’t want that. Not after what my mom (I saw it firsthand) has been through. I am just sad that things happened the way they did. When I was little, I thought things were as perfect as I see them. Now it feels like the world has turned upside down for me. I don’t regret it though. It made me who I am now. And now that I have a family of my own.. an adorable family, that is my source of happiness, at least I know what my priorities should be.

So in my own “celebration” of this day… let me do a letter for both of them:

Dear Mom and Dad,

Even though the marriage was far from perfect.. I still thank God for letting you two meet. Or else, my brother and I won’t exist. But aside from this obvious reason, I am thankful because He made you what you are now despite and in spite of these circumstances. I still love you no matter what. And I will forever be your grateful daughter.

I hope you both find peace and happiness.

God Bless us all,

Ting

a new venture…

Late last year, an old boss wanted to collaborate with me in doing a marketing business for small companies in the US. He started to get some ideas from his son and other sources and emailed all of them to me. The issues we have that gives us reason not to start yet are:

1. He’s busy with his “real” business which is in Real Estate — based in Joplin, Missouri (He has about 4 more properties to sell)

2. I’m busy with the current job I have (as an Assistant to a CEO of a Real Estate company in Dallas, Texas)

3. Our ideas are all but ideas. I have too many “vague” ideas. No solid plans yet.

I think I’ll start putting my ideas on paper so I’d have something to present to him. What I love about this ex-boss is that he treats me as an equal. During the time that I worked for him, he gave me advances, he sent me a Christmas gift and he was absolutely an adorable person. I’m 1/3 his age, but he knows the word RESPECT and TRUST.

i’m lost at work

Everyday at work, I’m trying to figure out how this real estate business works. Specifically, my company’s business model.

I wanted to stay focused on these things even if my responsibility as the CEO’s PA doesn’t necesarrily entail having to know them. I just feel that I’ll put more value to myself if I do.

It has been about 6 months (1 and a half in the real estate business) that I’ve been with this company. And I’ve had my ups and downs. And even as a PA, I must admit that I don’t know what my boss really thinks and how he thinks. So I guess you could literally call me clueless.

I wanted to read things about this real estate, but its too broad a topic. And I have motherly duties when I’m not at work. I guess I am proactive but not active.. if you know what I mean. (wink, wink)

Cubao X …

This is a late post of what the bestfriend and I did last week.

When the bestfriend texted me saying that she has 5peso passes to Baler, I couldn’t help but say yes. I mean, that was almost a free movie. Who am I to decline? So off we went to Gateway. We got the tickets but had more than 2 hours of waiting time before the movie starts, so she asked if I wanted to have lunch at Bellini’s..  this cool Italian resto at Cubae Expo. I wasn’t really craving for Italian but this was a new place for me and I wanted to see it.

After our late lunch, we had a few more minutes to see the busy streets of Cubao (I was feeling nostalgic — childhood memories and all) and what we can make most of our trip back to Gateway. (We decided to go back to Cubao X after the movie, btw.) We made a quick stop at BookSale and the bestie made me buy a book. For those idle times, she said. As if I had one!

Now about Baler.. maybe I was expecting something like Rizal the movie so 1/3 of my viewing time, I was disappointed. Cinematography was bad and who the hell is in charge of costumes? Seems to me, it was something out of a play, not a movie. Totally unrealistic. Also, the love story did not blend well with the history of the place. The writers and the director did not exactly give justice to the story. So I was wondering really, why they would be given an award for Best Picture. Maybe the competitors were worse? You tell me.

We stopped by Japan Home (not sure if this is the right name) after and I bought a big bottle of fabric conditioner (Pigeon brand, white, smells really nice) and my eldest son’s case for his Bakugan toys. The bestie also told me to try the sugar-free cupcakes at Halo. So off we went to Cubao X again. Here’s what we ate :

All in all, after the shopping (I still had things to buy after, like Bakugan toy, Gugo shampoo, Yacon tea, hair treatment, ampalaya capsules, and mangga’t bagoong) and the eating and chikahan, our day was one heckuva bonding moment that bestie and I missed. The only thing (or person, rather) missing was Jenny, the long lost bestie.

Cheers!